Manimal update at the beginning of summer.
Independence is what we all strive for and in our AU kiddos and really in all kiddos to teach them to desire independence and seek it is just as important. Breaking patterns now and then is a necessity.
In years of effort to get Tyler to eat, I adapted my kitchen, fridge, etc to accommodate him and made and… tweaked changes along the way. Lunchtime around here is 11:30 – and basically Tyler has the same thing for lunch year round -lol – turkey roll-ups, fritos or tostitos, yogurt and lemonade water. If I am working or busy at 11:30, I tell him to wait – last year, he would go and snack on something until I was able to make his lunch. I know he’s capable of making this particular lunch because he helps me do it on the weekends. A couple of days this week, I put myself BUSY and out of the house (i.e. mowing the grass) at 11:30 to see what would happen – lo and behold he made his lunch and put away the items as well. NOW he didn’t eat it until he showed it too me, but he did make it! After that each day, he would tell me, it’s 11:30 and I said, ok, what is 11:30, he says lunch, and I say – ok well go make your lunch, he walks into the kitchen and makes his lunch, he still prefers that I check it and is very pleased when I tell him how proud I am of him. Like I said, he always has access to fruits, yogurts, chips, water, etc but for him to “make his lunch” is an totally different step and a step toward independence. As a mom, I love “doing” things for my kiddos and making lunch is no biggie BUT as an AU mom, I know all about pattern setting and I know that I will not be around forever. Does this mean that he’s self-sufficient in this area right now, no. Does this mean that he would feed himself buffet style at someone’s house, no. Is this a step towards progress, yes. Does it mean some things we have to let go a little sooner than others, yes.
Next – in this effort to transition into the 6th grade (which is not going well at all -lol) I am trying to show and let him know that he’s getting older and growing up, so I have given him the opportunity to ride in the front seat instead of always having to crawl into the back (I also think he will enjoy riding with the top off more now – he used to love the wind blown feeling not so much now) in addition to him riding up front he also has to get out of the vehicle and open the gates for me to drive into the driveway and he does so with no problems. (It was rather comical the first couple of days of riding in the front as he discovered himself in the side mirror). Now when we went to grocery store I did have to have him sit in the back to accommodate loading up the groceries and he did that with no resistence as well. So he is learning to break the pattern of just 1 location in the vehicle.
Next – when we went to the grocery store Saturday morning, I knew I was gonna need 2 baskets, Tyler was NOT pleased about this at all – so I just ignored and planned on using 1 basket and and was not making happy faces – lol. I also told him that we may not be able to fit his gum and frozen yogurt in just the 1 basket. He was not pleased and very reluctantly got a second basket, for about the first 15 minutes, it was not fun, in fact he kept leaving the basket and walking away and then would go back and get it (one of many reasons we shop at 600a in an uncrowded store for lesson learning) finally things seemed to smooth over a little bit and he and I shopped with two baskets, him man-handling one and me the other. We couldn’t reach a certain water items and we saw Michael Bryan. I asked if Michael could locate someone in this department, he offered to help. Tyler told Michael, “I can reach them” I asked Tyler to ask Michael “Will you please help us reach them” which Tyler did and which Michael did. When he retrieved all on the shelf, I asked Tyler to thank him. Which he did. I need for Tyler to learn to recognize and ask for help when needed. I even sent him down a couple of isles on his own (this time without me standing at the end watching) to pick up things and place in the basket. I picked up boxes of cereal and he responded with “I do not want those” WOW – how awesome was that sentence and it took me a little bit of time to remind him that those cereals were not for him, that they were for the food table at church, had to remind him that Jesus wants us to help people and we have to help people that are hungry. Oh and Blanca even though they were green – we did not walk out of the store without bananas – LOL – some patterns you just don’t mess with. So it turned out to be a very good trip to the store and as usual I had come home and put up certain items (he has to put up the yogurt, the frozen yogurt, and the gum) sometimes I have him put up other items too but he had one quite a bit that morning, so I didn’t push it.
Yesterday after church we go by JIB – (I have dreaded and waited for this day to come) and they NO LONGER make Grilled Chicken Strips – YIKES- he was getting flustered as I pulled away and started screaming chicken,french fries, vanilla shake. So I said we will find someplace, we were driving and he pointed at Whataburger the only problem is that they don’t make grilled chicken strips and the breading is very difficult to get off. We wound up at Carl’s Jr. and they do not make grilled strips either, but their breading is easy to peel off (he wants the breading I don’t want him to have his vanilla shake is off dietary plans as is) he was able to calm down (Chick-Fil-A is closed on Sundays, which I respect, but that would be a great option). It was a couple hours of hearing about the whole ordeal about JIB not having chicken and fries – LOL – This ordeal yesterday was not intentional like other items earlier in the week.
I am glad ESY started today but he is not. Of course this morning, he is experiencing leg pain, foot pain and wanting to see the doctor, I said my foot hurts too but I gotta work and you gotta go to school. I told him he gets to see K, C and F, I didn’t mention Mr. Thompson because I was still unsure at that point. He really thought we were going to Baker (6th grade) this transition is much harder than anticipated. So we are in the driveway and he pointed towards Spencer and said you need to go that way (he was actually correct because ESY is not JRE) so we pull out and I get to Underwood, he starts having issues because I am not “turning left” he even touched my arm (which made the think maybe he’s not ready to ride in the front seat if he’s upset over something) I told him now, we have to go to RE. As we passed Baker, he closed his eyes 😦 then at the light we turned right he says “there it is” and points to the school. He wanted to know where everyone was because the buses were not there yet. We get out and wait for the staff to come and I was so relieved to see his teacher (his 6th grade teacher) his teaching ESY! Tyler even said, well hello Mr. Thompson. Tyler was pacing a lot, and looking down. I told Mr. Thompson, he was a little overwhelmed thinking we were going to Baker and then not going to LE, like last year’s ESY. I was proud of him that even though he had a lot to process this morning, he seemed to handle it ok, we shall see how things are when he gets home (he normally breaks down at home). I guess he really thought when school was over (elementary) that in his mind it was over forever – sorry Buddy – but no.
Proud of him!