Author: autismplusmoreblog

One of Tyler’s quirky AU things is that he LOVES to be wrong – yep, he loves to “try again” loves the red X’s on a game and the attempt at doing it again.  This is cute in thought BUT it’s very hard to accurately test him in some areas and many times hard to test in a standard manner because you know he knows the answer – as he memorizes most every…thing, but he prefers the being wrong over being right – lol.  This is also very hard to encourage him not to desire to be wrong.  He’s very dramatic as well so he loves the sighing, the head hanging, the lip curling and then the big eyed excitement and standing tall pride of getting it right – some therapist say it’s a processing thing – going from beginning to end – starting off getting it wrong and progressing to right – some therapist say it’s a brain stimulation thing, the chemical set off of being down and then instantly up and he gets to be in control of how it feels. None of us can actually figure out why he likes to do this.  Thank goodness his teacher sees and knows what I know about this quirky behavior Tyler has.

Now – yesterday I thought I would take him bowling and attempt bowling without the kiddie bumpers. Since I can’t bowl as it is I knew there would be several gutter balls from each of us.  But, just as I suspected, Tyler began to intentionally gutter the ball, and he would say “oh no” very dramatically and then look at the screen and say “gutter ball” he did this several times.

Since I am not a competitor, I am not into saying I am winning and you are losing. I do believe in good healthy competition for those at a cognitive level of understanding competition and if you like to compete, but I am not a competitor.  So I was trying to figure out a way to make him strive not to intentionally get gutter balls and I came up saying “uh oh, no points” and great job you got points.  I stated the same for me (remember I have no athletic ability including things such as bowling, so unintentional gutter balls come often for me- lol). As we progressed into the second game, it did get better, he began to attempt to get the points instead of intentionally hitting the gutters. We both hit the gutters several times, neither of us intentionally – lol.

Well we were done by 10:00 a.m., it was great to have the bowling alley to ourselves. I really enjoy being in the bowling alley myself when it’s not full of people – I have developed autism by association. 🙂

Some of you are fully aware of the behavior journey I’ve been on with Manimal for a while now. Well here we are 8 days away from Manimal’s 5th grade year and that’s hard to believe – 5th grade already.  I sorta feel like it’s 4th grade – because it seemed like his entire 4th grade year, I was just zoned on coming to terms and accepting the fact tha…t my son needed to be on medication because I could not afford nor have the time to manage 100% bio-medical treatment and then through the process of finding the right psychiatrist, along with the right medication.  Nothing is 100% perfect, there are side effects to pharmaceutical medication BUT sometimes you have to weigh out  the pros and cons and in order effectively seek and find help in one area you have to let go of another area and this where Manimal and I have been for a year, learning, growing, accepting and finding balance.   Have I changed his dietary restrictions and his vitamin and supplement regimen no I have not and the psychiatrist supports my decisions in those areas.

Manimal was getting bigger and stronger and his aggression (even though it would come and go in spurts) was getting pretty intense at times. For his safety and the safety of his teachers and the structure of the classroom (at that point and still today he had not been overly aggressive to classmates – PTL) I knew I had to do something, to help him come down a notch in order to work on getting him to understand his levels of anxiety, frustration and anger and to learn to manage his feelings and actions, this is where the medication decision came into play.

With concrete thinkers emotions are extremely difficult to process (when they are not experiencing that emotion) and helping process an emotion (while the emotion is happening) can be a very difficult thing to do.  Meltdowns and rages throw off an entire day and can take hours to recoop from and then exhaustion and tears set it and so it maybe a day or so until you can go back and work through the behavior, which for concrete thinkers is almost pointless.

Began working with the number scale (which we are still working with) at the early part of the 4th grade year and it’s been great to see that he’s starting to understand the scale EVEN USING THIS SCALE IN ESY THIS YEAR – stating he was “angry” and at a “3″ by the time that day had ended he had only come down to a “2″ BUT that was some AMAZING progress as that was the first time he’d ever used the scale at school, even though it’s been available to him.  During this time, I was checking out materials from the AU library resource dept in Manimal’s district and trying to find and work with various things to help with behaviors and helping him understand what he’s feeling and how to react on it. Since finding the new psychiatrist in February of this year and finally finding a medication that works (even though not pleased with the side affects)  in helping him not act out in moments of anxiety, fits of anger or rage, the next step was to find a behavioral therapist and continue to work with his behavioral psychologist.   Does he still have moments now and then, of course he does, and don’t we all, but they are not at the extreme that they were.   So in OT, we added more goals – dealing with emotions – facial expressions, etc, the behavioral psychologist and therapist really work with me on various goals to work with Manimal at therapy and at home.  So in addition to OT and Speech (outside of school) weekly, we now go to behavior therapy every 2 weeks.  I’ve been told that more than likely he won’t reach the point of a non au child when it comes to learning to deal with and handle anxiety and emotions much because he truly can’t comprehend it all with the cognitive delays and the concrete thinking BUT that every bit of therapy truly does help, even if you don’t see improvements right away.   Manimal’s priority of skills for me is his behavior skills, life skills, social skills and then academics.  Reasons behind that – you have to have life skills to help take care of yourself, the way it stands right now, Manimal will ALWAYS need assistance and won’t be able to live on his own BUT in that aspect I don’t want to to have to do 100% of everything for him – life skills a necessity – (one difficult thing about AU kids vs NT kids, is a a parent with our NT kids, we can do and do and do and baby them, etc and then one day wake up and lay down the law that the coddling is over – we can really choose this at any time in their lives – and yes, obviously the longer you let it happen the harder it is to change BUT – what am getting at is with spectrum kids you have to step away from that at an early age, and many times, never go back to it, because of the way that they are scheduled to structure, routine and patterns and so the longer we do for our spectrum kids, the possibility of breaking that routine, etc may or may not happen depending on their level of understanding, comprehension, cognitive thinking, etc) then next behaviors – if you can’t get a grasp on behaviors – SOMEONE is going to get hurt and a “diagnosis” DOES NOT stop legal actions or procedures.   Social skills I am not 100% hip on – we live in such a screwed up world today that I don’t even want to be in the social realm of society why would I want to bring him into  – lol – but seriously not every NT person is a social butterfly and for many NT persons, social procedure is an area that is lacked by many.  Social skills are a broad thing and so this is my 3rd area of priority – because MANY people can function in society without perfected social skills. Academics is my 4th worry – as if he can’t behave, has no life skills and no social skills then academics are useless for his future.  PTL he is very smart and can learn many things, but application of knowledge is a whole different ball game, critical thinking skills, etc – just not part of classic autism.  Further, he maybe able to receive certificates, diplomas and degrees, but what good are they if he can’t use them – if he can’t go out into the world and behave, have basic life skills and sufficient social skills, what good is his academic knowledge?  So do I support, encourage and work on academics, yes, but knowing the consequences of behaviors, I have to admit that is priority to me.  I know people like Einstein was considered autistic (having no life nor social skills), but we are no longer in a world of the age of invention after invention, we will see a few come out and current situations perfected but the days of Einstein are long gone.   Aspies (Aspergers) stand better chances of living independently and being productive citizens of society even though they are on the spectrum as well.  We AU parents of classic autism KNOW are children are NOT stupid, we KNOW that they are very intelligent, everything they learn from behavior management, to life skills to social skills to academics, they learn in a different way and there is not a “right or wrong” way to teach them – EVERY Spectrum(AU or Aspie) child is different and what works for some doesn’t work for others, you just have to keep trying until you find what works for yours and THEN at some point it won’t work and you will be on the hunt again.  Communication is crucial and words do not mean communication and “appropriate” answers do not mean “correct answers” and echolalia is just so common for classic AU and difficulty in communication can still be a frustrating problem, and frustration can easily spin off into aggression, so back to behavior being a priority.

So as Manimal and I continue with behavior management and other therapies and as we approach his 5th grade year, I am hoping for a year of little telephone calls, emails and time spent at the school redirecting behaviors, but even as improvement happens, I will always be on stand-by because no matter we ALL have our moments, and Manimal’s moments can be monumental – lol.  This will be Manimal’s last year in elementary school with his AWESOME teacher and she’s so great with him and his entire class, I wish we could just keep her through graduation.  One of the things I love about her, as she refers to her class as her babies, she truly loves those kiddos and she will also call you to tell you WONDERFUL things about your child, her phone calls are not always calls to come to the school.  She gets just as proud of them as we parents do.

I have spent over a year so focused on working on Tyler’s behaviors (and that will never stop) that I have not devoted as much time as I would like to his academics. Thank goodness he’s blessed with intelligence like his sister, Victoria Jayne Bryan.  His work his modified and is adjusted for his at pace level and learning – for the 4th 9 weeks he …had LS Math – 99, LS Language Arts 92, LS Social Studies 100 and LS Science 98 – which brought him for an end of year average – LS Math 99, LS Language Arts 89, LS Social Studies 100 and LS Science 99.  –

I am against STAAR testing and if Tyler was mainstreamed I would opt him out – I didn’t like TAKS or TAAS when Tori was in school and had I been aware I could’ve opted her out I would – I do not believe you test ANY PERSON’S true knowledge on a standard test – I think you hinder the learning of ANY child when you streamline the way and what they have to learn, with that said, for grins I allowed Tyler to STAAR test – in a modified and alternate version – as I am curious in the NT world where he may be in academics since I have in behavior mode for over a year – and the short version of the results is this – (again modified- as readiness alternate & he has support in this testing) – Reading – level of complexity 2  – which is the moderate level he achieved 74 points out of 84 points, Writing, level of complexity 2 (alternate & with support) 77 points out of 84 points and Math – (alternate & with support) – 2 of the tasks were at level of complexity of 3 and the other two at level of complexity of 2 – 80 points out of 84 points.

Overall all progress in BEHAVIOR and academics this year amazing and I thank God for it all. Without his guidance, his grace, his mercy, and his undying love, this would not be possible.  Today and I always I am grateful that you, Heavenly Father, believe in me, when I would’ve never believed this possible from myself, thank you for giving the gift of an AU child.

Somewhat of a beginning break through – at OT at TCH they’ve been using the emotion #’s scale, like i have at home and Ms. G has in the classroom.  also she’s been working with various facial pictures from magazines and such that would relate to the numbers, having Tyler pick them out and then they laminate and match them.

today – Tyler had a mi…ni-meltdown that consisted of crying and screaming (never this bad at therapy – tears wise) i got him to calm down  and once he was calmed down – he went back with the OT therapist. They worked on writing, fingergrips, wrist extensions, etc.  he was getting frustrated and the therapist asked him, Tyler are you frustrated and pointing to #3 on the scale and she said Tyler responded with “5/4” and she said your a 5 or a 4? He responded again with “5/4.”  She said he seemed “relieved” once he expressed that.  Before he finished with OT therapy and went into speech, he mentioned he was back at a 1. We don’t know as he still seemed a little agitated.

This was great to hear as Tyler has never recognized past the 3 on the # scale.  I’ve been doing what she’s suggests and even at home when i frustrated or angry, I use the number scale to show Tyler how i feel (even though for the most part he can recognize the emotions on others faces) and try to say, i am angry inside – when that frustration or anger subsides, I show him that I am back at a one – the OT is wanting me to model for him what he can’t seem to grasp.

Now with Tyler being so unpredictable, not sure when we will see this again, but a breakthrough is a breakthrough!

We will go to the behavorial therapist on May 7 so hopefully she can give me some pointers as well, as soon as I have a pattern going with her, i will make another visit to he behavior psychologist to bring him up to date on what we’ve been working on with the psychiatrist, the school therapists, the outside therapist, the homework (following therapy direction), the parent trainer intensely in this area for now, over a year.

MILESTONES – but no expectations

Yesterday was AMAZING – I am not talking about working Tyler through the anxiety and fear to compete in basketball skills for Special Olympics and earning a gold medal (which was awesome) but some MAJOR accomplishments (even if they could be temporary)

While waiting during the down time of competition and score tallies, Tyler was playing with his trains with all the noise and excitement going on around him.  His “buddy” came back over to him and said Tyler do you want to come “play” with us – there were a group of the volunteers and their buddy kids just playing around with the ball shooting baskets.  Tyler waited a couple of minutes and then put up his trains and walked over to the “group” of people and somewhat participated in their antics.  THIS BY FAR WAS THE HAPPIEST MOMENT OF THE MORNING FOR ME – the medal was just icing on the cake, or so I thought.