Author: autismplusmoreblog

AUTISM IN YOUR FAMILY IS YOUR JOURNEY AND THE JOURNEY WILL CHANGE WITH PROGRESS OR REGRESSION MY SHOUT OUT TO YLEO! Being on the spectrum or having a loved one on the spectrum is as individual journey as anyone who is not on the spectrum’s life. After the initial diagnosis, you become the world’s best researcher, you read every book available and you start trying to find which option is going to best help your child, you eventually find a path that you can live with, your child/adult loved one can excel with and that’s the path that you choose to take for your journey. You meet others in similar situations, you reach out to help or share your personal experiences and progress because there is no set pattern to the progress of each individual and their individual journey. Individual budgets also help set out your journey. Just because you don’t have the finances to mirror someone else’s journey – you still don’t stop seeking your own. Since there is no “real” answer to the diagnosis, you can definitely see various ways the diagnosis can come about and between your own research and listening to the professionals, you will decide what journey you feel is best for your child or loved one. When we as parents and caregivers find progress in our own child we begin to share things that have helped our loved one in hopes that it will give another parent or caretaker and idea, a gleam of hope or just something to think about. For me, I personally believe, after lots of research, that healing the body from the inside out is a step for progress for Tyler. I do believe that the issues of processed foods, toxins in life, etc are a contributing factor to his diagnosis. I also believe that there is a relation between the gut and the brain. Tyler is diagnosed with Classic Autism and Sensory Processing Disorder – he has OCD traits, but that diagnosis has actually been removed and flagged as “traits”. ADD, ADHD, ODD are other common diagnosis with a spectrum diagnosis, but they could also just be “traits” that mirror these diagnosis since so many of the “traits” of those diagnosis are found in a spectrum diagnosis. His Psychiatrist opted to treat one diagnosis at a time and see what happens, with that vision, we are still treating the AU and SPD – the other diagnosis are still off the table and considered for Tyler “traits”. I want you to understand that I am not anti medication, I am just “is there another solution before medication” or “can I reduce medication” Therapy is always a must – and should not be left up to the schools (therapy in school is ONLY to support academic environment) and should always be followed up with at home. Learning that your child or loved one doesn’t have to go out into the community for every opportunity and that sometimes some days will be better than others. Also remember, when you feel it is a good time, re-introduce things that weren’t possible before. I’ve reintroduced things and some Tyler has taken too and others still no. Whatever the reasons may be, there will always be things that your child or loved one can’t adjust too or doesn’t like – some of that maybe an autism or spd thing or some it may be an individual personality thing. Now I am a firm believer and Tyler’s progress has been proof, of cleaner eating, fewer toxins to HELPING all the outta whack wiring going on his body. I do for the most part TRY – to keep Tyler gluten free, casein free, yeast free, high fructose corn syrup free, colored dyes and processed and artificial sugar free or massively reduced amounts. I began to focus on behaviors and sensory issues figured once I could get somewhat of a handle on that, then I could focus on academics and life skills. (Remember your journey and choices will be different) Making these initial changes several years ago, I started to see improvements, but many times the behaviors were just too much. I did put Tyler on medication and redirected his therapies towards issues with behaviors. My biggest issues with medication and MY child is: 1) he can’t communicate how he feels while on the medication (and there are so many mental side affects) 2) the damage it does to organs taken in the long term has me very worried. Dietary changes made a world of improvement and then of course I have him on a variety of vitamins and supplements. Then about a year and half ago I ran across YLEO from a friend. Like everything I attempt with Tyler, I make small changes so that I can try to filter out what is working and not working. I also, use myself (when possible) as a guinea pig. With YLEO – I started with using the application of the calming oils and began reducing his medication (and I didn’t completely remove him from his medication until I spoke with his psychiatrist about a medication vacation and he was very supportative of my request). Once I began to reduce the medication, I increased the oils. I watch a couple of videos from a Chiropractor out of Dallas about SPD and Autism and after he mentioned a couple of YLEO products, I decided to attempt those. I had Tyler on somewhat of a similar routine that this chiropractor mentioned, but I thought I would take it a step further. I already gave Tyler a high grade fish oil, but was curious to see what the Mindwise supplement would do. It has CoQ10, Tumeric and other oils in it that help with cognitive brain health and heart health. I know with Tumeric it is best to add Black Pepper with Tumeric to obtain the full effects, so I add black pepper oil to the bottle and surprisingly he takes that tablespoon. This Mindwise is an excellent product and Tumeric is being talking about as helping, in some people, the prevention of Alzheimer’s and Dymensia. When the medical world gets really involved they compare the “cognitive” brain of Autism to Alzheimer’s – which these studies have caught my attention (and if you have ever known anyone with Autism (at least classic or low functioning autism) and alyzheimers you can see some similarities. Now back on track…….I was really noticing a difference in “comprehension” with Tyler and so was his teacher, his therapist, his tutor and family and friends. I then revisited the issues of “trace minerals” and read up about the colloidal and ionic trace minerals and YLEO offered the ionic trace minerals (which the body absorbs easier) in their Mineral Essence supplement. I had to teach Tyler to swallow pills in order to move forward in my regiment. I had done this a couple of years ago and it was a disaster, so this was one of those things that I had to readdress – and this time it was a success. With him swallowing pills, my options and abilities became a little broader. I think wanted to give Tyler the Ningxia Red drink which is so good for overall health but he acted quirky each time I tried before. After researching deeper, it appears that on RARE RARE occasions grapefruit could interact with the medication Tyler was on. Oddly the Ningxia Red hasn’t had reactions with other people whose medication reacts with grapefruit, BUT I thought I will just wait for the medication vacation, which I did. Once I had him off the medication completely, I was able to add the Ningxia Red to his daily routine and it’s great for him in the morning as it gives him just enough spunk without going over the top. I switched up a vitamin regiment to work hand in hand with the changes I made in his new routine. So now he has a YLEO regiment along with a vitamin regiment and some dietary regiments. With these changes, improvements are happening, and that’s a parent asks for is improvement and progress. I am truly baffled at the success he’s had (and yes, since he is a human being, he will have really off days now and then, just like you and I). He is still way behind where he should be, but he’s exactly where God wants him to and that I am perfectly fine with! Life for Tyler will forever be different, which means my life will forever be different and that I am perfectly fine with. Normal is just a setting on the dryer….my normal is different than most people’s normal, but YLEO is becoming a normal part of our lives. I still plan outings different, I don’t attend everything I am invited too, I know when and when not to push the envelope (and sometimes I make the wrong call on that) I still try to do things in short periods of time and not overwhelming with constant activity (Tyler is a CUP KID – a great book by a doctor in Friendswood – his cup doesn’t empty like most – so when it feels it, it could overflow even in the most enjoyable and routine of environments). I embrace the progress, but ALWAYS fully aware of what he’s capable of, even if it hasn’t happened in quite some time. It just takes time and patience. Natural, healthier, cleaner and striving for a chemical free life is a reachable goal and for our journey – just one of many avenues. Thank you YLEO for a wonderful and product – purity matters when you are choosing natural products.

We are officially on a medication vacation WOO HOO (prayerfully it will extend past the summer) and he’s swallowing capsules (trace minerals) and when needed a gluten enzyme. Tyler’s progress is just amazing me each day, I just can’t get over the changes! Today I got in from the grocery store and i had bought a door knob to replace on his door and before I had all the groceries inside, he had opened the box and pulled off the old knob and put in the new (mind you the guts didn’t need to be removed. After he was done, all I had to do was put in the screws LOL (I probably would’ve needed to use the instructions to made it as far as he did 😉 ) I’ve added to more oils to his roller bottle mixture, so now it’s Peace & Calming, Stress Away, Lavendar and Cedarwood. Of course, a flouride free toothpaste – for over a year, and in addition to his vitamin regiment, 3 drops of Thieves oils in his liquid vitamin mixture for immune boosting, a table spoon of Mindwise (brain health, cognitive health and heart health) and 1 capsule of Trace Minerals (over all health, focus and well being, which the recommended amount would be about 5 – but we will work up to that) and still taking 5mg of melatonin at night. Doctor said, if necessary I could increase to 7mg of melatonin, right now I will stick to 5mg and calming oils. This is addition to a somewhat restrictive diet of GF/CF, yeast free, HFCS free, processed and artificial sugar free. (Mind you I tried to adhere to that as much as possible, but there are a few things that I give in on, which makes those consumed ingredients in small amounts, not regular staples and not always daily) I don’t seek a cure for a non illness, but what i do seek is improvement and lifetime maintenance and I am so grateful that about a year and a half ago, God directed me to go talk to D.P. about the YLEO products and further, God’s guidance and patience on trying and incorporating products, on me, Tyler and Tori. Patience is the key. BTW my beautiful aunt say the oils in action the other day. When we went to her house, Tyler had 0 oils on that day and his was a little “elevated and acting out on his OCD tendacies. I whipped out the bottle of Cedarwood oil I had and rubbed it on his wrists” about 20 minutes later he was laying behind my back, eyes closed (shutting down) he did this for about 30 minutes, then sat up in a calm manner and interacted in the visit. She said, I can see what you strongly believe in using the oils!

want to give a huge shout out to the teaching and para staff at LPISD especially Tyler’s direct teacher and para staff. (sorry for the length of this) As many of you know, Tyler witnessed a traumatic event involving one of the para’s that he has grown very attached too. Though Tyler could not verbally express his concern, his fears, or anything, he began shutting down in school, going to school and sleeping (something he never does) then “force coughing” to finally feel “too sick” to go to school and missed two days of school (refusing to go to school) . I knew that the “sleeping” at school (shutting completely down) was an alarm that something was not right at all. His teacher said that the Para was now home from the hospital and that maybe we could set up a visit (she’s not scheduled back until after Spring Break). I didn’t want to take him while she was in the hospital and she needed her focus on getting to a point to be able to leave the hospital (this was a very serious and life threatening event). I was able to call the para and scheduled a time to meet with her this past Sunday for an ice cream visit. I put on the calendar in an effort to start prepping Tyler.

Yesterday he walked away with the silver but it wasn’t easy and it wasn’t as joyous as the pictures depicted LOL – First off, Tyler has refused to participate in special Olympic events – sensory issues – SO is a WONDERFUL organization but for many SENSORY ISSUE people it’s not SENSORY ISSUE friendly, making it not Tyler friendly – lol. (SO is very cool, they have a HUGE opening ceremonies – like the Olympics, Parade of Athletes, Anthem, Oaths, lots of loud cheering BUT at the bowling, they have the National Anthem and the SO Oath and that’s it – thank you God!) The bowling alley is loud BUT I’ve taken him at various times INCLUDING to the alley where the competition was held to so he was no completed unprepared – even though we do most of our practices early morning – not as crowded) Next, unlike his sister and more like his mother, Tyler is NOT a highly competitive person, he enjoys playing and participating, but is just as excited for someone else to win as he himself. Well in order to keep his place in the S.P.O.R.T.S. program he has to compete in at least 1 Special Olympics event. So talking with the coaches, after seeing we weren’t able to get him to go to Bocce Ball (which he loves – i.e. lawn bowling) we decided to see if we could get Tyler to bowl, since I’ve taken him periodically and he’s gone with the S.P.O.R.T.S. group in the summer. I can’t let Tyler lose S.P.O.R.T.S. S.P.O.R.T.S. is Tyler’s safe haven, his go-to happy place and since transitioning into the adult group this year, his love for the program has expanded immensely. He may not go and participate at the events, but he participates in the practices and activities each week. (though the bell choir participation was a 1 time thing – he won’t be doing that –he used his words and said “it hurts my ears”) – the adults have taken him (and all the jr high and highschool students) under their wings and many of the female adults become mother hens to the younger kids (I love the unconditional love.) Well LPSO does not have golf and Baytown is too far. Tyler is loving his private golf lessons and I want to keep that love of the sport in place and not force competition on it. I also tried swimming for Tyler at PSO and that did not turn out well. Tyler swims for pleasure definitely not for competition. (Just because you enjoy something and are good at it doesn’t mean it needs to be put into competitive form IMO)

I had a great session with Tyler’s clinical psychologist yesterday morning.  As many of you know, we’ve had an issue with a school bully from last year, and the child is in Tyler’s life skills class. I have been empathic to the other child’s situation and have actively and  aggressively worked on trying to make my child’s situation better.  I have run into obstacles at every turn and Tyler just flat doesn’t want to go to school.  Further due to Tyler’s inability to truly communicate, it is still unknown as to full series of events that took place last year and since this child is still in Tyler’s class it causes a lot of anxiety and refusal to go to school. WE HAD ABSOLUTELY NO ISSUES IN SUMMER SCHOOL AND YET THE UNNAMED CHILD DID NOT ATTEND SUMMER SCHOOL. In about a 3-4 week period last year the “new” kid came in and practically turned a classroom upside down (at the time mine wasn’t the only experiencing changes in behaviors). He ruined Tyler’s last few weeks of 5th grade.

After speaking with the psychologist, since we are unsure of all what happened and all we know at this point is that this child (name not mentioned) makes Tyler ‘angry’, he did confirm that Tyler’s behavior is NOT separation anxiety that Tyler’s behavior expresses PHOBIA or TRAUMATIZED. I knew this wasn’t separation anxiety (some school professionals were considering separation anxiety), but Tyler knows I am his protector and his refusal to go to school and the way he acts in not wanting to go through the door and not wanting me to leave, is his way of asking for my help (doctor’s words) not a separation issue.   Of course, this concerns me in numerous ways.  I also explained that this broken hand was also a part of trying to stay out of school (last year it was an intentionally hurt foot and ankle – this year a broke hand – all to avoid school????) His broken hand only hurts when it’s time to go to school.   Due to Tyler’s inability to properly communicate I may never know exactly what happened.  I do believe that the behavior was “inappropriate” behavior and possibly some physical bullying, I know it was noise related and intruding in personal space issues as well. I can’t ask Tyler certain questions because when you do, you’ve planted the words and seeds into his mind and he will repeat what you say, but you don’t know if it’s correct or now. Appropriate and parroted answers are not always the correct answers (the joy of autism). I need Tyler to tell me what happened, not through seed planting or multiple choice, but in his own words in his own time.   Through therapies and patience, it’s taken almost a year for Tyler to say what makes him angry at school is xxxx (the unnamed child) and this occurred last week.  It seems like for now not much can be done other than home school because the “details” are unknown (the joy of autism – **sarcasim**) and being that there is only 1 life skills class (2 next year -currently in the same school side by side – with the possibility of one of the classes relocating to another jr. high) there is not a lot of options.  My personal opinion is that the unnamed child is not properly placed and due to the fact of legalities and privacy laws NOTHING CAN BE DONE – so it leaves me to get my child to learn to cope and attend class (in the same class) with a known bully.   I REALLY REALLY REALLY don’t want to homeschool Tyler.

The psychologist told me that I can’t protect him from everyone and this I know to be true.  That at this age too – you have a lot of bickering arguing, teasing etc. I did assure the psychologist that I don’t’ expect Tyler to get along with everyone and vice versa. But that I am looking to find ways to teach Tyler coping skills when traumatic things happen in life and now he needs to learn defense skills as well, and I am here for suggestions.   Tyler used to be VERY VERY aggressive until I placed him on medication and that aggression has almost subsided.  I was aware of Tyler’s actions and effects it had on the staff and other students and tried everything, I could possibly think of prior to the medication as I knew Tyler was only going to get bigger, stronger and I didn’t want him to be considered a bully (even if it was diagnosis related). So now as a  passive person he has no sense to defend himself.  With a year’s worth of therapy on learning emotions and handling anger and not acting out seems all for not when it comes to self=defense.  The world is full of mean, angry and very hateful people and Tyler and many others like Tyler will constantly exposed to them.  As much as the medication has helped him in some areas, it appears that it has left him vulnerable in other areas and plus Tyler (and many kids on the spectrum) don’t have “instincts” about people – they trust the people around them to protect them from other people, so when people are brought into a classroom as a new friend, they go with the flow they don’t have instincts to stay away from those who harm them.  Spectrum kids rely so much on the adults and sorta “follow” what they are told and who they are exposed to – (yet another autism aggravation and not a skill of life that can really be taught – even facial expressions – when learning emotions are very misleading, his behavior therapist and I speak of this and as he progresses in emotions therapy learning to read body language is also a future goal – even if it seems impossible)

Until I learn of the actual events that occurred last year, the psychologist has suggested that I keep up with what I am working and possibly even attend school with Tyler so that Tyler and I can discuss his day and the procedure of how he and this child are separated even if in the same class.  He wants me to avoid homeschooling if possible, but completely understands the reason why I would have too if it doesn’t stop.  His suggestion at this time is  to give this more time and work with the other therapist and listen for the time(s) that Tyler begins to talk about what happened last year in school. He did agree with me about planting seeds and to avoid those if possible, to speak with the therapist about possibly developing some other type of ongoing theraputic sessions that can get Tyler to speak of the past events on his own.   The way you deal with situations is to bring it to the surface, face, deal with it and move on from it.  The other side that is dealt with Autism is PATTERN SETTING and Tyler is a FAST pattern setter so any changes to routine (not going to school and the behaviors displayed every morning have yet again set another pattern).  He said that he understands about the pattern setting but if we change the environment (home school) he may not ever talk about it if he’s not facing the person daily.

I knew it wasn’t the staff, I knew it wasn’t the school work, I knew it wasn’t the change in school, I knew it wasn’t separation anxiety, I KNEW it WAS THIS KID – I have a lot of empathy for this child, his life and I try not to exclude this child when I take things to the school and I know Tyler acknowledges that child in a positive way (from across the room) when the child gives the right answer on group class work BUT that child is not mine and I can’t help the child, his parents OBVIOUSLY could care less about their child’s well being (there is NO WAY that these parents have NOT been told of their child’s behaviors in class). This child needs to be placed in an emotional disturbed class environment and does not need to be with children who have difficulty with communication (not just AU kids but other kids who can’t communicate that well either). Because of the legalities and privacy laws with the district, their hands are tied (thank you govt bureaucracy) and only that child’s parent can advocate for that placement, which is truly for that child’s safety and the safety of others.

When you work with your spectrum child or any child that has neurological or emotional issues and/or a combination of both  you first consider your child’s needs and you also have to consider the needs and safety of those around him/her.  There will come a time in life that the outcome of your child’s actions can not be cloaked and protected under their diagnosis.

The psychologist did suggest Animal Therapy (possibly volunteering at an animal shelter or horse riding therapy) IF POSSIBLE as animals and AU kids communicate without words to one another and I asked him what about self-defense karate classes or boxing lessons (now that he’s so passive the psychologist nixed this idea in the past due to Tyler’s extreme aggression) he said that now it maybe ok to start approaching those ideas and to work hand in hand on when to use the defense and not to use it as an aggressor.  So I am going to be on the hunt for some self-defense classes.  Give him an outlet to go to, a safe haven and a place to help (the shelter) and he’s seen great things with the horse therapies (the only problem with that is the distance and expense for but the animal shelter is a possibility) and of course when the cast comes off Tyler will return to golf lessons, as the psychologist also suggested some sort of activity that he enjoys (sports, music, etc.) so that he has a “happy” place to go to.

For those AU parents – if your child has delayed cognitive development always work on that cognitive development affects so many things. Remember words do not mean communication. Many communicated responses (be them verbal or non verbal) may be appropriate but not necessarily correct, keep your parental instincts in tune with your child. Further even sign language, pictures schedules, etc does not mean full communication this is an ongoing issue that will be a lifetime of work.     Pay keen attention to their changes in behaviors, their environments and changes in environments. Bullies exist inside special ed class rooms as well and the school districts are very limited. I’ve said BEFORE THIS happened with Tyler and I will say it over and over. Bullies are NEVER held accountable for their actions and neither are their parents.  School districts are the worst place to encounter bullies as with all the govt red tape and bureaucracy bs – policies only make things worse.

I am not hiding my head in the sand I know Tyler is going to encounter things in life that aren’t nice, but because he lacks so many things in so many areas it makes it difficult to teach coping skills, and it’s heart breaking to force your child into an environment where they feel and experience fear and anxiety at the actions of someone else. It doesn’t matter how intelligent Tyler is, it doesn’t matter how much he can learn academically when taught in a manner that he can learn, if life skills, coping skills, communication skills don’t exist.  Your child trusts you for protection and guidance and sometimes a little bit of tough love has to be dished out even with a special needs child.  Until the day comes when Tyler can tell me exactly what happened last year, I will continue to have to push him into a classroom with what I believe an emotionally disturbed child who has anger issues, violent outburts (may or may not be meltdowns) and other things I won’t mention,  whose behavior last year turned a classroom upside down and who’s presence continues to affect my child.  My heart does hurt for what the other child has been through in life but I can’t fix his problems nor help him with his problems, he’s not my child and as a normal process of emotions, I tend to feel the rise of anger in me against that child’s parents and the child as well.  I really have no idea if his parents are doing what they can and getting him the help he needs, I honestly don’t know (I just assume that they are not as I’ve met both of the parents and they don’t strike me as the type to be concerned – again I know I am making judgment calls about someone without knowing all the facts about the parent’s actions) and I speak out in frustration for the difficulty in trying to help my own child.  I continually pray to keep my anger at bay, so as not to let my anger get the best of me when I am trying to help my own child.

So now to add to my schedule, I will have to work days in where I will attend school with Tyler, yet setting a pattern that I am NOT at all pleased about and will be difficult to break.  Of course it is known when a parent or visitor is in the classroom, that MOST people act differently anyway.  But the purpose of this is NOT to see actions but to be able to truly try and communicate with Tyler the classroom environment, the settings, etc.

Heavenly Father, I continue to come to you for guidance and assistance. PLEASE help me keep my anger low and patience high.  Help me listen to intuition and recognize things that need to be addressed and handled in a way that is healthy and helpful for Tyler.  Please continue to give me guidance on where to obtain the knowledge and skills to teach him what he needs to learn from the experience and work through me to help him.  Please continue to give me the strength and energy to handle all that is placed before me.   When the time comes (and it happens) that I want to give up, grant me that necessary restful break You always provide so that I can bounce up and continue the work.  As frustrating as it is, I also pray that somehow, someway, that help will provided to the other child involved as I know he needs help in his own ways. I can’t help him but I know You would ask that I pray for him.  Tyler was created by You and gifted to me to rear and I pray for your continued guidance on this unique, amazing and challenging journey.  Amen.